Perturbed with Fashion

I have a bone to pick with the fashion designers.

Whoever thought that a mother of three, no matter how svelte, could easily wear low-rise jeans was not being kind when he transformed the fashion industry at least three years ago. Now, all I can find are jeans that are 1-2 inches below my navel  and let’s just say I love my body everywhere except there.

As a working mother, I cannot be at the gym every single day for an hour and a half, sweating through my seven layers of workout wear. I refuse to consume colon cleanses weekly or survive on lemon water. I do watch what I eat, and I workout as much as I can fit it into my single working parent schedule. And truly, my body is not half-bad.

But those low-hung jeans – they reveal the one part I desperately want to conceal. Flatten. Do a little work on.

It is most definitely the fault of the fashion industry! I cannot find a decent pair of jeans anywhere that climb higher than my always-covered midriff. Even the vintage thrift store bought-it-in-Portland jeans fall a tad bit short.

So what to do? I can’t fathom wearing “Mom Jeans” – a.k.a. those small-butt-pocket, rise-to-your-collarbone, wholly unflattering pants that too many middle Americans succumb to. I won’t shlep around in sweats and stretch pants.

How do I hold it in while I’m waiting for those few extra innertube pounds to miraculously melt away?

I’m a genuine fan of the fashion industry – Vogue is my favorite late-night read. But it’s time to protest – there must be good fashion, attractive clothes, ensembles that truly capture one’s attention, for the size-6 and size-8 women out here.

It’s hard to believe Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love (a truly bad movie) when she says she doesn’t care if she gains weight, she’s eating pasta in Italy. I did that too – when I was 20. The pounds actually did melt off back then.

Her point about no man turning a woman away for an extra 5 pounds was a good one, though. It’s never happened to me. And have you seen the men out there? Let’s not get into that area of body critique.

So what am I left with? I suppose it’s time to accept my love handles and search for clothing that accentuates – rather than make me self-conscious. Any recommendations for stores?

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