To wake one eye at a time, breath deepening. Absolute quiet all around. Years ago, I would’ve reached for the radio or the phone, just to escape the silence. Now, I relish it.
A life is a series of moments. One builds upon the last and the next, juicy as a late-summer peach. Little steps, appreciation building like my little boy’s blocks on the family room floor.
I used to race through the moments, my eye on the distant horizon. Now I know that you never reach the horizon and so I stop to taste the moments because they are all we ever hold.
To truly love is to not hold too tight, to not fear the leaving, to not abdicate control but to see, fully, those who stand beside us, in all their fullness. Never hoping to enfold them, to consume them, to conquer. Just to taste them for a minute, maybe another minute will follow.
Today is humid, the air heavy. All around me is a haze but I am so clear.
Beauty everywhere. Feelings dancing under my skin. This much emotion, how lucky I am to feel it.
I write words that make me cringe. Beauty everywhere? What is that? My grad school profs would be devastated and red-pen away.
Maybe living this fully escapes explanation. Maybe there are no words for this, maybe I am doing, so I cannot write it. Is that possible?
On my iTunes, Joshua Radin. Jason Mraz. John Mayer. Every song sweet as lovemaking.
There are flavors in my kitchen – eggplant roasted with garlic and farmers market tomatoes; lychees bursting on my tongue; that familiar milk-lightened coffee from Israel that always takes me back to the pink stones and the strong people on every street.
A new day dawning in every minute. I am lucky, I tell you. Supremely lucky.