The landscape of clouds below, blue in the night sky, part as the vessel moves above it, swiftly as if supported by nothing but dreams.

What is the purpose to my days? Is it an empty backpack, to be light and carefree? To move quickly along the beach and listen to the echo of the waves against the empty lounge chairs?

Or is it to collect moments, heavy with meaning, that I stuff in my bag and shoulder along on the path I’ve chosen?

Is it the relationships we carve out of the ice? The people we’ve met and made important in our lives?

Is the purpose of this Life the amount of money we can squirrel away in a bank account for a trip to take, maybe 10 days in length, sometime next year? And then, when it’s over, do we carry the photo album forever? Is that the last trip, the ONLY journey, EVER?

And if so, then what WAS the point?

And so I watched the movie of this name last night, thrown into surprise by the cheating woman, discovered when his heart was open on a snowy day and his rental car blinking yes at the curb. And I watched in disbelief as his only good option faded away and he faced what he’d always loved only didn’t love it anymore.

Because now, he wanted the connection. The meaning. The purpose.

And in the end, when he becomes the 7th person ever to hit 10 million air miles and be rewarded for LOYALTY to a single airline but to no person for miles around, he was sad, I was sad, the meaning had been long lost.

For what is loyalty, really? I thought I knew but a few months ago, I bumped up against the not-knowing and the disbelief of betrayal. And I, too, have been searching for the meaning in that word, to know it in my bones and believe there are a few people who are loyal to me, and I to them, for more than a rain shower.

But loyalty to an airline? To air? To nothingness that fades away as the clouds move?

Sure, he has his own dedicated customer service line that greets him by name. But he goes home to white walls and a one-bedroom that he doesn’t own and no one to look out the high-rise window beside him.

If you know the purpose of it all, give me a call. Some days, I think I’m clear. Others, I have no idea.

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