Interesting…yesterday morning I posted on Facebook that “when you love your life, it doesn’t matter if it’s Monday or Friday.” I meant it.
I was flying high, so happy with my life, and it felt like the chorus of TGIFs from Friday’s postings were so grumbling about the grind of the work week, celebratory of breaking free for a weekend. And then yesterday, the grumbling about back to the grind, back to Monday, could this day just already be over when it hadn’t even begun.
So I went through my day and found that it wasn’t as smooth as I’d planned neatly on my calendar. When I got to school for the 4th grade party, my daughter burst into tears. She didn’t feel well, she was worried I wasn’t coming, and she just dissolved in my arms. So my afternoon got hijacked by my lovely little girl.
I rolled with it, because that’s all you can do. My focus is clear: my kids come first and the work I do can always get done. I always do it; nothing falls through the cracks. So I spent the afternoon nurturing my daughter, comforting her, helping her to feel better.
By evening, I was just exhausted. Perhaps it was because I only meditated once in the day. Perhaps it was because I didn’t get much done on my checklist. Perhaps I was just sick of the lack of listening from my offspring, the sheer mountain of chores to do before I could tuck them into bed.
My little guy in particular is so damn cute, he pulls fast ones all the time, like not putting his dirty clothes into the hamper (boy, I love heaps on the floor) or not putting away the carefully folded clean clothes sitting in a stack at his door. And then the whining starts.
And so when that happened again and again and again, I just lost it. “Sometimes you’re so mean to us,” he wailed.
Um, really? I don’t think so, but yes, it tore at my heart.
It’s so funny how a day can wind through perfection to a tunnel of chaos to the clarity of a new morning. Now, the rain has stopped though the air is still heavy with moisture from 36 hours of torrential constants.
Yesterday went through such a season shift of emotions for me…though I have to say, I stayed fairly even through the ups and downs.
That’s the gift of all the practices I do in my every day. And the reality is, days shift uncontrollably – that’s life. We follow a course and the path veers and we stay on the path or get caught among the fallen pine needles beside it. We still always pick ourselves back up and keep going because that’s the way it is. There really is no other choice.
When I look at things that used to upset me, I sometimes laugh. They’re so nothing. In the scheme of it all, so much is inconsequential. So you field a curve ball. At least you caught it. And even if you don’t catch it the next time, it won’t knock you down permanently.