The windows are open and the birds are chirping. The sky is gray and last night it rained, though I didn’t hear it. I slept soundly, after an evening with friends and my dear sweet love.

It was a safe night, one filled with trust. But not every night is like that, nor every day, and in the past year, it has amazed me how little loyalty exists between people in this world.

I’m not going to bore you with cynicism and rebellion. But I will say that the definition of loyalty apparently is not universal and indeed, it changes with the wind.

In work, as my father says, you have no friends. So I can live by that.

With regard to friendship and personal connections, I used to believe there were unspoken truths that bound us to one another. Sadly, this is not a universal belief. And it’s a realization that I have resisted greatly.

Of course, the real truth is that the outside world can never provide reassurance or comfort. It is constantly changing. And our universal purpose is to be of service, to have compassion, to GIVE. Except not everyone knows this. Or cares to embrace it.

And that’s where the discrepancy arises.

I’ve spent a long time looking for peace and solace outside of myself. I don’t do that anymore but still I am surprised when faced with someone else’s expectations.

The cool air is beautiful through the window screen. I used to write about these moments in perfect clarity, with the perception of a poet. I used to spend weekends in the lap of the Shenandoah foothills, cradling coffee with water from a running brook and cream fresh from the cow in the yard.

I used to believe in miracles.

And truly, I think I still do.


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