Have you ever arrived somewhere, looked around, and just known in your bones that it’s where you belong?

It happened to me recently at a yoga concert one Sunday night. I sat on a blanket with two of my children snuggled in close and as the young turban-topped singer offered her sweet voice in a low-lit room, I felt myself overflow with happiness. This is where I belong, I thought. I want more, more, more of this!

And really, why shouldn’t we all have this? Find the place where we best fit and stay there, fill our lives with the details and nuances of this amazing heart-filled place where we absolutely belong?

Today I spoke with a friend whose children switched schools, and the whole family found their home. I am seeing my older children find that in their middle-school travails, believe it or not, happiness embracing them like little birds singing a summer song. My little guy, though, he’s not quite there, not quite in his happy place. And it’s my intention to find it for him.

I don’t think you must know who you are at the core to find your place. Sometimes it’s the other way around. You find yourself amid people or activities or a community where you just feel like you fit, and then the soul sails forth from there, turning you into the person you were meant to be.

Either way, I think it should be a high priority for each of us to get there as soon as possible so we can spend the bulk of our lives in this incarnation being our best, living happily, loving life.

So what’s the secret? First, stop doing everything that makes you miserable. Disown (quietly, no need to hurt anyone’s feelings) the friends who really aren’t friends, who make you feel bad about yourself. Hate the job? Quit and start doing what you love. Take the risk. You’ll be better for it.

Eliminate the foods, places, movies, music, and other things that bring you down. Add into your life those that lift you up. (And if you think there is no correlation, just try it. Watch a wholesome TV show instead of the brutal one and see how it changes your consciousness and sense of well-being.)

Live each day with a vision toward finding purpose, making the world better, contributing in the way that only you can. Say hello to everyone. Smile at everyone. Eliminate the scowl. Never swear at someone in traffic. Simply smile and nod your head, knowing that the person weaving in and out of traffic, driving too fast, cutting people off is an unhappy soul.

Wake up and say a prayer. Thanks for the new day. Thank you for the breath in my nostrils. Thank you for the wonderful people in cozy beds in my house. Thank you for the work to do all day, every day. Thank you for my house.

When you live with a sense of gratitude for everything and everyone, you can’t be unhappy.

It’s a process, surely, and I don’t think any of us can change overnight. For me, it’s a matter of finding more ways to be in that setting, that world, where my heart sings. More yoga concerts, more yoga classes, more workshops, more travel to places of peace and harmony and love.

More time with my children. Taking on only those clients with goodness in their hearts. Turning off the computer and the phone and the iPad and the TV before I try to rest into the night.

It’s a process. But one worth seeing through to its inevitable and wonderful end. For on the other side is a stunning view of sunshine-striped hills and air fresher than you can even imagine.

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