What terrifies you?
Apparently, that’s a question many people don’t want to answer. Or linger on. Or even consider.
There are amazing writers who are not afraid to share their thoughts and musings in my 21 Day Writing Challenge (we’re in Day #18 right now). They’ve shared incredible writings that really reveal the heart of who they are, and so much of it comes from the writing prompts I’ve offered on a daily basis.
But one prompt has been avoided by every single person in the program, and it’s one that begins I am terrified of…
The intent was to start with that and let the writing flow. No one took the bait. Everyone jumped to the next prompt, leaving terror behind.
Or leaving their feelings behind?
Why is it scary to say what terrifies us? Are we afraid to go there, to face the devil in our deepest corners?
In our always-on, social posting world, we are too comfortable skimming the surface. We boast and brag, pose and post, photo-bomb to be part of someone else’s story.
And yet, we rarely go deep.
We dangle our feet in the water instead of stripping down and diving in.
I know that once I break the water’s surface, my body adjusts and warms up. It’s only cold for a minute. So here goes.
I am terrified…
Of being alone, truly alone, battling the echoing silence.
Of losing the people I love.
Of a cut that sears into burning pain and spurts blood and I can only sit and watch.
Of hatred that I cannot understand – the kind generated by Hitler and ISIS – the inexplicable turning against a group of people just because they’re different.
I am terrified of remembering the past – the far past, of prior lives, with drownings and awful deaths – and the near past, that I cannot seem to let go, the mistakes and stupidity and miscommunication.
I am terrified of wasting my life. Of reaching a ripe old age and looking back and realizing I did not in any substantial way make the world better during the days that I walked on its surface.
I am terrified of not being liked. It terrifies me that the pettiness of childhood never really goes away, that people stay mean and superficial and point fingers and judge even into adulthood.
I am terrified of being afraid – of sitting in the fear and letting it win and overtake me and drive me to pander to values and people I don’t really believe in.
And so, in freeing these feelings by writing them down and sending them out to the universe, I am, once and for all, letting them go. Kissing them goodbye, wishing them well, thanking them for protecting me in their weird way and informing them that they no longer serve a purpose in my life.
That’s the key. Just let it go. Admit to the terror and the insecurities and the paralysis and free it from your heart. Let it out. Shout it to the world, let it sail away on the cold wind of this below-zero day.
Because then, and only then, I am free.
P.S. Registration is open for my 21 Day Blogging Challenge. There are many reasons to blog, and it’s easy to get started with the right focus and guidance. Join me. Only $99. Register here.