The Stillness of the Morning

The kids are gone for the week with their dad. Dan is gone on a business trip. The house is mine.

I slept incredibly well last night, after a day filled with everything I wanted to do, on my time. I walked my freedom trail, that stretch of hilly dirt road with quiet large houses behind the tall, tall trees and so many birds I didn’t even have to think. At the end of my 2-mile excursion, a black and yellow butterfly danced through the air almost close enough to touch.

I don’t believe in coincidences so I practically gasped with delight. In my Animal Speak book, it explains that butterflies are the ultimate symbol of transformation and the notion that life is a dance, be light as you move through it.

I strolled through the grocery with the smaller cart, buying only a handful of items for my solo week. The bill was laughably affordable (when does that happen??). There were hours of work and a bit of time just to relax and two intensely deep meditation sessions and then a night out with some of my friends and we leaned back in our chairs at the hipster restaurant and just eased into the night.

Walking to the car, my friend Molly and I might have spent a half hour on the sidewalk outside someone’s house, talking as the darkness curtained around us and fireflies blinked a pinpoint of light to remind us we were still among the living. And it was one of those conversations that remind me how lucky I am to be alive and to have these remarkable people around me and to have the entire open-door world at my feet.

And then…I slid into my cool bed with the windows open and the fan on low and just luxuriated in the peace and quiet of resting on my pillow. I drifted off to sleep quickly so when Eliana’s happy text came at 11 p.m. – the party was great! I love you – good night! – I was already out and blinked awake just long enough to tell her I love her, too, and turn the phone on do not disturb mode.

What a day. The freedom is infinite and I could take it all the time if I wanted to, but it’s so easy for our lives to get muddled by the conflicting obligations and the people we love and want to be around and the workaday chores that trip us up like a spider’s web in the doorframe corner.

Today: I’ve already done my meditation, so now there’s a dawn walk around the neighborhood to start the day with some exercise. A shower, coffee, study for my accreditation, go to work, acupuncture in the late afternoon (look for that blog tomorrow – remarkable outcomes!), a quick hello to my family in the evening to welcome my niece home from camp and another night to myself in the cool quiet of solitude that I didn’t realize how much I’d been raving.

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