It’s the New Friends that Surprise You

Sometimes we think the people we are friends with early in life must stay our friends throughout. Silly thinking. As we change and grow, why wouldn’t we shed old friendships that no longer serve us in exchange for new friendships that meet our needs?

Yesterday I had lunch with a relatively new friend, and at the end of our meal, bill paid, dishes cleared away, new patrons moving into the tables around us as the turnover happened, I told her how much I enjoy our friendship, how grateful I am to know her.

It may sound gushy, but we only have this moment to make a difference. I wanted to share with her a positive feeling so she knows how special she is. At least to me.

We all need that. We need to know we matter, that people love us, that our presence uplifts others. What is life if not that connection and depth?

Truth be told, I never want to go out and keep the plans I make. I always have a feeling of I’d rather stay home, snuggled into my blanket from India and my cozy home. It’s the introvert in me (yes there is one).

Once I go, however, I am so glad I did. It happened Friday, after breakfast with an old, old friend renewed in recent years as our lines of work coincided. I was overcome with gratitude for being his friend and he mine, and my whole day was lifted because it began with our breakfast of connection.

So too my Saturday lunch. Cheese blintzes topped with fresh strawberry slices and a sprinkle of powdered sugar. We drank more coffee than we realized. The lights were bright, in the restaurant and through the windows. The hum of other conversations was a steady backdrop for our conversation, which ran the gamut between work and parenting and family and self-actualization. A friendship of depth, a friendship of meaning.

Have you ever looked at the relationships you keep? I mean, really looked at them? Are they worth holding onto? Or are there some that no longer serve you?

Because there is no shame in letting go.

Once we let go, we open up space for new to arrive. For better. For now.

I used to think there was something wrong with me if a friendship ended. Years ago, I learned that was far from the truth. Friendships ending signifies personal growth. You’ve finished the karmic contract. It’s time to move on.

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” ~ Khalil Gibran

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