You Can’t Rush Life or Love

When my daughter’s schoolwork came home last Friday, the teacher had written in careful scrawl, Slow Down! on every paper.

My little girl with her strong stance and definite personality, her dreams and goals alight in her sparkling eyes, is just like me. (Hopefully better!)

For 37 years, I’ve been fighting the urge to rush through things to get to the next place. Sometimes, I moved quickly with no destination in sight. It was simply an effort to be done with the task under my fingers because I carried the unfounded belief that anything else would be easier, clearer, more of a delight.

Of course it’s not true. It’s the chase of illusions and the running from unidentifiable fears.

A year ago I thought I could simply fall into love. A year later, I am aware that nothing is that easy nor that simple. And I am still on the path of a love unparalleled, a love unheralded. I walk the path because it is beautiful, textured, comforting and exciting and I walk the path because this kind of love is too delicious to leave behind.

Do I know where it will lead or what the absolute outcome will be? A clear and defiant NO! But I am willing to taste the oyster.

My window is open this morning and birds are singing in the still-dark. I have work to do and ruminations to push away and I dream of escaping to sandy beaches and sunny days but I won’t.

My life is here. My love is possible. What I see as so good actually is and will be if I let the ride coarse along its way, like the natural flow of the waters underneath a sailboat, when the world is far away and a deep calm has permeated the very air I breathe and the soft skin of my companion is the only touch in the dawn.

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