The Challenge of Connection

I had an interesting conversation with a woman today who confessed that she has a hard time finding other women to connect with, who have been through what she’s been through. I’d say I know myself fairly well these days and I will admit that I’ve often felt the same way.

You’d think it would be easy to find the right friends if you know yourself well, but it seems it makes it even harder to find true connection.

Research shows that women with best friends live longer and have stronger health.  Probably because the power of a support system, however small, and the value of true connection is truly healing. Invigorating. Encouraging.

I’m sure I’ve written about this before: strong, independent women, especially those who own their own business, have a hard time finding others in the same position. Women who are leaders, women who can stand on their own two feet, women who don’t *need* a man or anyone, really, but WANT that true soul connection.

Why is it so hard?

I refuse to believe that only the weak and needy have success in finding relationships. Except I know many people who’ve had slews of friends, whole crews with whom they vacation, make Saturday night plans, raise kids together, etc., and they’re all tied up in a web of intrigue and insecurity and drama and follower-ship.

I’m not judging. God forbid no! I’m just saying, when you know your own voice, and you know your own heart, and you walk tall and stand strong, shouldn’t it be easier to find connection?

But it isn’t.

When you dare to be different. When you dare to carve out a path that’s unique from the pack. Even if you believe the same things. Even if you belong to a community.

Perhaps you’re seen as formidable, untouchable, on your own, unapproachable. Perhaps.

Except every living being yearns for connection.

I suppose I know that it’s only realistic to have a few really close, soul-level friends. I get that. How can we bare all and confide in and trust everyone?

And perhaps finding those one or two or three “soulmate” friendships is so special because it’s so hard to find.

Still, it was nice to connect with someone else who feels the same way I do, to be able to say to her, I know how you feel, I feel the same way. In those statements, we are no longer alone. And as strong women, we’re no longer lonely at the top.

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