I’ve spent a lot of money in the name of business over the years, and once I make the purchase, I never look back.

businessman climb on money stairs with natural sunlight cloudscape It didn’t occur to me just how much I trust my own decisions in that realm, even when they’re pricey. It was always the pre-thinking that stopped me up, the hesitation about whether to take the plunge in the first place.

But once I decide, I am in. 100%.

I pay for coaching, which is money well spent, a personal business advisor to turn to and talk with as I go through the motions of my career and life.

I’ve paid for seminars and conferences, including the expense and effort of traveling to them, staying somewhere, and fully experiencing the event.

I’ve paid hefty sums to study with the likes of Seth Godin in what ended up being incredibly dynamic events, and I once paid an even heftier sum, like really big bucks, to spend half a day with a business coach I had a lot of skepticism about but ended up LOVING the experience.

home_mainMoney is an illusion. And money, it turns out, is my biggest problem.

I’ve worried about money for the better part of my adult life. Actually, it began once I bought a house, got married, started having kids. That makes sense – so many obligations.

But the money, a good therapist once told me, isn’t the real worry. It simply represents something deeper.

For me, the money signified love.

Would I have enough? Or would I have none?

Ouch. That’s an embarrassing thing to admit.

I have come to learn that money is an energy that needs to flow in order to thrive. It comes, it goes, it exchanges hands, it builds up, it is spent.

Without that movement, the money stagnates, as we do. And starts to cause problems.

There are issues, you know, with having too much. Loneliness. An inflated sense of self-worth. A clinging to material possession rather than relationships and meaning.

And a lack of money, well, that comes with its own problems, too.

Access. Basic needs.

What I’m talking about is cheery middle-class folks who have what they need, and always have, and probably always will, even as they worry and wonder and panic that it will all go away one day and they’ll end up working some menial job into their 90s.

Yes, I’ve had that worry at times, too.

The thing about money is really a worry about having enough, being enough, living a life of abundance. It’s about letting go of what we think is security for the chance to grow the security even bigger.

It’s about investing in ourSelves.

Bali-Rice-Terraces-000042611168_FullIt’s really a first world problem to worry about money. I remember visiting Bali with a client several years back and commenting to one of the employees at the inn where we stayed that everyone seemed so happy, all the time.

He and his compatriots were always smiling.

There were men squatting naked in the river to relieve themselves, and women working in rice fields, and individuals waiting on us and driving us places and showing us how the Balinese people live.

And every single one of them wore a full-face smile, all day, every day.

Whether it raged with rain or the sun shone bright or they were walking down a narrow street.

Why not be happy? the man said. This is Bali. Life is beautiful.

And it truly was.

There was no concern over money or acquisitions or status. It was just living life, day in, day out, in a place familiar, to the best of our ability. And that was mission enough to satisfy.

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