Technology

I’ll be the first to say my BlackBerry saves the day. I’m connected, hooked up, in tune, linked in, facebooked and more. I text, I bbm, I email from remote locations. Technology is good. It gets things done. It’s immediate. My clients never have to wait.

And it’s bad, bad, bad. When I met C. and wanted to go on a date with him, he said, “Isn’t it just fun to text and email and talk?” Um, sure, as another way to connect after building a foundation face-to-face – but not in place of it!

He’s not the only single man these days who relies on distant forms of communication to take the place of actually meeting up for coffee, seeing if there is chemistry in real time. It’s a trend, I find, and not a good one.

I’m done with dating men who don’t go on dates – texting does not a relationship make. And as far as clients go, well, even in the business world we’re all guilty of staying in touch via remote tools like email and text messages, in place of meeting over a desk and feeling the energy of real-time work.

Sometimes, it’s a good thing. And sometimes it’s not.

I built my business two years ago on what I perceived as a widespread need for connection. I was on Facebook one night, while chatting with an old friend, and we noticed that 50 of our high school buddies were on FB too. Not huddled under the covers with a spouse or reading a book or having a glass of wine and staring out at the stars.

Online, trying to connect but really just looking at a screen. This distant mode of communication – it’s a good placeholder. But it can’t replace real connection.

And what is it, exactly, about face-to-face that is so scary? Isn’t that the only way to find the kind of intimacy and connection that we all crave?

I’m throwing in the towel today. I want real-time. I want a face.


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